When I was in Grade School, I remember a classmate of mine who was very important to me. Why? Simple, I would copy his answers during exams and assignments.

I noticed something was wrong when I noticed both our grades were going down. It kept going down until I had to look for a new seatmate that I could copy from because I felt like he was sabotaging his grades, and I didn’t want to flunk like him.

One day, I asked him what was wrong and why he was unfocused. I knew it wasn’t because he was taking drugs, was in the wrong crowd, or anything like that. But to my surprise, I found out that the root of the problem is because his parents were fighting every night.

My friend would watch his parents enter World War 3 at home on a daily basis. The only ceasefire they have is when they have to go to work. The problem started when they got into financial debt that lead them into depression. The result? His father found another woman.

His parents were on the brink of separation. His mom would toss all their plates at his father, so his dad would sometimes not go home at all anymore. It was chaotic and it was affecting my classmate deeply.

What was even worse is that nobody in their family talked to him. As a child, my classmate felt that it was his fault; he was so confused. The last time he was in the honors class was in Grade 5, and until he grew up, his performance in school kept getting worse.

He was crying for help but his family was too busy with their other problems that they weren’t able to notice him.



In my experience dealing with different kinds of people in ministry and business, I learned that you can’t solve a problem by just killing a symptom, you need to heal the root problem in order to resolve the issue permanently.

A lot of people didn’t plan on stumbling upon a big problem. Actually, it’s just a result of continuous wrong decisions in life.

If you noticed, there are families who deal with the same issues over and over again – gambling, womanizing, drinking, and all kinds of other “ings.” It’s because members of this families have been living in this cycle that they think it’s okay.

So, what’s the solution to this?


  1. Change the cycle – If you grew up in a broken family, make sure that this cycle will stops with you. Marry a person you will love forever, and have a healthy relationship together. This can aid the stop of this cycle from continuing to further generations.


  1. Ask for help – There’s nothing wrong with going to a psychiatrist, having a counselor, or attending marriage enrichment programs. Everyone needs help to be better, and the earlier you admit that you are not perfect and that you need someone to help you, then the faster you will experience healing.


  1. Forgive – Unforgiveness is a poison that is plaguing billions of people in the world today. The reason why a lot of people are unhappy is because they’re carrying so much baggage around, and the longer you carry it, the heavier it becomes. But when you forgive, you free yourself from this heavy burden.

I claim that healing will happen in all families. Nobody needs to get left behind anymore.

Praying for your family today.

The best is yet to come,

JPaul Hernandez

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