Nicole and I have been friends for quite a while before she started courting me – yes, pakipot muna ako and then naawa ako sa kanya, so sinagot ko na rin siya.

As I’ve gotten to know her through the years, I found out that one of her most annoying characteristics is that she’s a know-it-all.

She’s always ready with a sermon at hand. For example, if I sneezed, she’ll tell me “Because you have chemical imbalance multiplied by your lack of sleep and not taking a bath, that’s why you sneezed.”

If she sees me staring at blank space, in other words tulala, she’ll tell me, “That’s happening because you are doing too much work and you are always worried about something… blah blah blah…”

Not just with me, actually. When we’re driving and we see a car accident in front of us, she has a sermon for that person – “yan kasi text ka nang text and you didn’t take defensive driving classes.”

What’s worse is when there’s a car that’s taking one hour to park, she’ll look bad at the driver and say, “Hay nako, babae ka kasi.” I then scratch my head and say, “Baby, but you are a woman.” Then she’ll tell me, “Yes, but I park amazingly, unlike her!”

Sometimes it’s funny, but when I’m serious about something or stressed about something, I get frustrated and irritated.

How I Annoy My Wife

One of my biggest strengths is that I never give up; I have a huge sense of responsibility that as long as I have things on my plate, I will do my best to finish them even if I feel lazy. That’s how I can write blogs, books, give talks, work for business, lead a Feast, and take care of relationships.

My #1 strength is also the main thing that annoys my wife. For example, we’re having a vacation and I enjoy for about an hour or two, but after that my mind automatically goes back to work and imagination start running wild again. So, what I’ll do is when she’s not looking and I think the coast is clear, I’ll quietly take out my phone, connect to the Wi-Fi, check my e-mail or my notepad, or worse, I’ll bring out my laptop.

If she’s just looking at me, that’s okay, I’m still relaxed, but when I hear her growl like a lioness, I quickly put my gadget down and force myself back to relaxing.

For example, she’s window shopping and, for her, that’s spending quality time together. But I really find it boring, so my mind is elsewhere, thinking about the work I want to do. Uh-oh!

Also, during times of extreme celebration, or a victorious moment, I don’t go wild in celebration because I’m already wondering about the next thing I want to do, or next work I need to finish.

Yes, my strength is also my biggest weakness.

You can imagine how annoyed she felt.


Work with that annoying thing

In this early season of our marriage, we do get irritated with each other, we frustrate each other, and we’re doing our best to accept each other’s flaws.

Yes, I can be frustrating to live with because my mind is always floating around elsewhere thinking of something I want to do.

But did you know that you can turn your annoyances into blessings? You can turn your annoyances to advantages.

For example, my love for work is a blessing because my wife gets to see me super happy with what I’m doing. She doesn’t have to do something special to make me happy. Not only that, I get to earn a living for the family and she can trust me with our finances.

For me, I find her know-it-all or sermons very helpful, because when I’m confused, tired, and just out of balance, she always has the right solution to my problems.

This message is for all your relationships, not just marriage.

Is your parent, or your boss, or your ministry leader, or your best friend abusing you or annoying you?


As a leader, one annoying thing about me is that I’m disorganized because I’m always imagining. But that helps my team as well because I get great ideas when I’m wondering all the time.


Instead of getting irritated about the annoying things about the people around you, find a way to use it to your advantage.


People are not perfect, we all have quips, but that’s what makes us special.


Start celebrating your weirdness, and see the weirdness in other people as well. When you do, you’ll have a happier life because you’ll be less frustrated with the shortcomings of people.


The best is yet to come,
JPaul Hernandez

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