For a long time, I was what you called a weekend Christian. I acted like a holy leader during youth prayer meetings and Sunday Mass, but on normal days, I was a crazy sinner.

I tried to justify that it was OK for me to commit sexual sin, like watching pornographic materials, because unlike other guys, I wasn’t addicted to it. I only did it once in a while.

As my mentors further discipled me, that mindset changed and my character started to improve. This made me commit to a life of integrity and true manhood.

My growth and transformation was very much tested when I started the relationship I now have with Viv. I remember the first time I saw her. It was like time stopped and the background blurred out. I found her so beautiful. I knew that I wanted to start something special and genuine with her.

In the beginning of our relationship, we kissed with smacks on the lips, rationalizing that we wouldn’t go further than that. It was really hard because I absolutely adored her. As time passed, it got even harder for me to control myself.

One day, I was reminded about the story of how my leader, Bo Sanchez, kissed his wife, Marowe, for the first time on their wedding day. Although I knew that it was the right thing to do, I told myself, “Only Bo can do it and not me.”

But God responded by saying, “You also have what it takes to be a great man.” I couldn’t argue with God.

So I talked to Viv and told her how much I loved her. I expressed that I was certain that she’s the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and I just honestly wanted to be a good man for God. So I promised her that the next time I kiss her would be at the altar.

I know today that God’s will is being honored because of the decision we made.

Let me share to you three reasons why I stopped kissing my girlfriend, and how it has blessed our relationship.

  1. I love her.
    For me, true love is dying to yourself every single day.
    I promised myself, Viv and God that I will love her just as Jesus loved His Church. That I will die to myself for her, and one way of doing that is by not kissing her until we are married. I am a man and it is not easy because I’ve had premarital sex before, but I know that
    when we get married, it will be beautiful sex.
  2. I honor her.
    She’s the love of my life. One way I want to honor my love is by keeping her and our relationship pure.
  3. I want to marry her.
    When I started courting Viv, I promised her that I was in it for the long haul. That my relationship with her was not an experiment, but a journey that I wanted to take with her.
    I believe, one day soon, I’ll be able to kiss her with God’s permission. I’m excited for the day I could kiss her as my wife.

Big-Time Benefits

To end, I want to share how this one simple killer move has been blessing our relationship.

We don’t kiss, so we have a lot of time to talk and look into each other’s eyes. This has helped us peel away the layers and see the essence of our relationship.

Viv enjoys this a lot because I am able to focus fully on her, which make her feel loved and validated.

We are able to enjoy our time together by learning about each other’s interests. This keeps our weekly dates exciting and strengthens our bond as a couple.

Lastly, as a man, I’m really thankful that because we have become better friends, we are able to trust each other more.

I’m proud to say that she doesn’t police my every move, asking me all the time where I am or what I’m doing. She doesn’t check my phone or social media account, or email.

I earned this trust through building friendship in our relationship, and I don’t want to break it.

Brother, more talk = more trust.

I believe you can do it as well! You have what it takes!


The best is yet to come,

JPaul Hernandez

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